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Story 13

Gender: Male
Grade Level of Event: Freshman in College Division 1
Sport Played: Football
Your Story: The abuse started slow and some early things I could shake off or convince myself it’s college football, then abuse became more blatant. How can an offensive lineman be abused? The Coach would spit and hit me over the head repeatedly, kick me when I was on the ground after a bad block and run the stairs of the stadium without water breaks. It even got to the point that this man would hit me from behind and knock me on the ground calling me names. I did a 1v1, no matter who won or lost, he would call me a loser, the most worthless player he has ever seen. The thing about this abuse is that I began to believe that this was all true and stopped caring. It drove me to do things that are unspeakable and made me believe that I should never play football again. I have the lasting effects from the horrible abuse suffered at the hands of this Coach. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorder, lifelong scars. As I start the healing journey I realized that football is important to me and have found a new home to play college football. I still have panic attacks doing 1v1 but the new Coaches understand my trauma and are willing to help me to be a better player. This has been a long journey to healing and I am still healing. I will not let this Coach define me. I will be the only one who defines me.